Shunning Gender Stereotypes – A Conversation with Peace Hillary

Peace Hillary is an accomplished Rwandan journalist with over 20 years of experience in the media profession. She serves as the Managing Director of Family Magazine, which focuses on gender issues, family promotion, women’s empowerment, combating Gender-Based Violence (GBV), and family conflicts.

In episode 26 of Her Media Diary podcast, Peace shares her journey from surviving the Rwandan genocide, to becoming a prominent voice for gender equality and women’s empowerment. She discusses lobbying for a gender desk at the Rwandese Ministry of Defense, founding Family Magazine, her efforts in combating gender-based violence, and her vision for a media landscape that includes and uplifts marginalized voices.

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Hello Peace Hilary, all the way from Kigali, Rwanda. You and I have known each other for a couple of years, because we did some research in Rwanda, looking at the barriers for women in media there. I would love to start this interview by getting to know the history of my guest. So, tell me more about your early years.

Thank you, Dr Yemisi. I am a mother of seven and a grandmother of a handsome boy of 5 years. I am a journalist with 22 years of experience. I was born in 1978 and my parents’ first daughter, with four older brothers. I spent most of my early years with my father. He would take me to his office to show me how people work to make money. So, you would be someone you want if you worked hard. I lost him during the genocide against the Tutsi in 1994. I was 16 years old, and my brothers were also killed along with him. I stayed with my mom and my other siblings, two girls and two boys. We remained five out of eight children. It was very tough.

Do you mind talking a bit more about that period and the impact it had on you?

You see, if you have dreams as a kid, especially a daughter in the context of Rwanda, and you are empowered by your father, then boom, he dies, you will think that your dreams are going down. That is what happened to me, I was thinking, “Am I going to continue my studies? But I am grateful to my mom, she was a brave woman. She told us, “You will not stop your studies. You are going to move on. You are going to study. I will do my best.” She did her best. I had the chance to have an encouraging mother, and she is my role model.

What impact did the genocide itself have on you and what you do today?

I did not get abused during the genocide, but I was getting some information about other girls like me and women who were abused and sexually assaulted during the genocide. I saw that women were used as weapons during conflicts. I think we had more than 500 women who were sexually violated during the genocide. And this made me see that women should protect themselves as we are exposed to everything. Even when there is peace, we are always exposed, so we should protect ourselves. Genocide left me with first, a hunger to fight for women’s rights, to fight for women to live in a peaceful environment, and a peaceful nation.

You said that after your dad passed away, and your mother was trying her best, it was still extremely hard in terms of getting food on the table. What are your memories of that period?

I always saw my mother telling other women, “Let us get up and work. Our husbands are no longer there, but we still have children. We must raise these children. We must do decent work, decent projects to raise these children.”  She found an organization that was called Imhore which means ‘I comfort you.’ They created a traditional Barrett; they also had a big restaurant project to prepare food for patients in the hospitals. There were many projects they did in the organization and they got funded. We had to go to school, we had something to eat, something to wear because of those women who came together to work hard. Before then, I was seeing them at home taking care of their children and their husbands.

And so, what would you say inspired you to pursue a career in journalism, particularly focused on gender issues, women empowerment, and gender-based violence?

There were two things. I was inspired by my father to get into journalism because he was a journalist. He was working with the then-only media house. I was excited to hear him talking about his journalism career, so I decided to become a journalist. But to become a gender reporter and fight against gender-based violence was from my childhood. We were living in a neighbourhood where women were very abused and beaten up. It was bad as a child to see a husband beating his wife. At my age, it was only normal. From then I said to myself, “no one can beat me even if I get married, I will put some conditions before I get married.” Before I started journalism, I went to study law just to be able to advocate for and protect women. I later realized that there is a need to advocate using my voice, using my power as a journalist. And when I got into journalism, I went to work with the Ministry of Defense Magazine. It was called Ingawo Magazine. And I was the first woman journalist and civilian.

Wow! So you are the first female journalist to work at Rwanda’s Ministry of Defense Magazine. Describe that experience of being the first and only woman and civilian in that space. What was that experience like?

As I was entering the corridor of the media house, on the first day of resumption, there was a guy. He came and said mwa mwa mwa, he wanted to touch my private part. And, I said why do not do it if you want to do it, yes, touch me. And he was like, eh, you are not even afraid. I said, no, I do not. I do not fear you, and he just said, you are not a woman.

So, you stood up to him, you stood your ground, considering this is your first day in an environment where you are the only woman, you are the only civilian.

Yes. So, from that day, he started respecting me. And I was influencing them during the editorial meeting because I went there to write stories on women and on gender. And they were saying, gender is for women. But I said, no, gender is not for women. Gender is for all of us. And they say, “No, no, gender is for women. You brought these things from foreign countries, and you brought them here. You do not consider our culture” Even when we were getting invitation letters to cover stories on gender, they were like “Peace. Come and see those things of yours, those things of women. And that time I was called Igiseka which means “You are not a real woman; you want to behave like a man while you are not.”

And whilst you were there, you lobbied for a gender desk, right? And so, I am trying to picture your experience in this kind of gender discrimination. You were the only woman in this space, and they were trying to put you in your place. So, in the process of lobbying for a gender desk and dealing with that, how would you describe your experiences of navigating it?

I always tell women to stand on what they believe in. I was standing on my understanding and my ideologies as a woman and a gender reporter. And so I had to live with these people and to work together, they had to respect my program. I remember it was in January, we were celebrating New Year, so we went outside with my colleagues and our director to discuss our programs. He gave an example of mine and said it does not bring money. I said fine, if you want this program to bring money, I can give you some advice or a suggestion.

The Rwandan National Police had a gender desk at the time. I suggested that we should have a gender desk in the army, where those women, who have issues with their husbands can get support. Before that, military men should be trained on gender and how they can fight against gender-based violence and domestic violence. The director said, “Peace do you think that project can work?” I said, yes. So I wrote the proposal and presented it before the UN Women. They agreed to fund the projects. That was how we started the gender desk within the Ministry of Defense. Both military men and women were trained in gender issues, about fighting against gender-based violence.

You then established another company, the family magazine, which focuses on gender issues, family promotion, women’s empowerment, gender-based violence, and then family conflicts. Tell us about your journey. How did you start the process of establishing a magazine of this nature?

After the establishment of the gender desk in the army, I was still getting the normal salary as before. I had to go to work with Internews. Also, Ingawo Magazine was closing its doors because it wanted to write stories online on the Ministry of Defense website. I had to go to Internews Washington, based in Rwanda. When I was there, I also proposed to train journalists on gender reporting, and they got the funds. So, after a while, I was thinking I should establish a media house that can do projects to strengthen journalists, empower women in society and fight against family conflict, domestic violence, gender-based violence and child abuse. So, after realizing that I could propose some projects and get funds, I decided to create a family magazine.

The first reason was when you are in another media house, you cannot propose some topics easily if the editor or the manager doesn’t see any benefit from your topic. I realized that if I have my own media house, no one will stop me to report on these issues. If I hire journalists, I will influence them and they will report on these issues because issues of women and gender must be heard. People must be aware of this gender-based violence and how they can contribute to combating this violence. That was why I created a Family Magazine. The second reason was to get money to propose projects, to network with the other media houses outside Rwanda, and to connect with different organizations, nationally, regionally and globally. To also build this awareness on gender issues, especially women’s issues.

When you reflect on your role as a woman in this space, how would you say you have used your position, your gender, and your passion for such stories to ensure that the media is adequately reporting on gender issues?

I can say that this consistency of reporting on gender issues, publishing the family magazine and getting money, influenced and inspired many women journalists, even men.  I started seeing them publishing stories on gender and I was incredibly happy. I started seeing women creating their own media houses and reporting on gender issues, I was incredibly happy. This had a significant impact for me seeing that what I was doing inspired many people, especially journalists.

When you reflect on that journey to where you are now, how would you reflect on the challenges you experienced and how you combated them?

The challenges were many. And today, I can say that I am strong. I know how to face challenges. It is very harmful to be called Igiseka and to be considered a rude woman. These challenges made me realize that I am a feminist. I remember in 2018, I wanted to give up. I was asking myself, why do I struggle with this? What is holding me back from quitting? But I had to keep going on. Then I resolved to face my colleagues, and I also became stronger than before, because I knew how to protect myself. I knew how people can behave when you are not on the same level of understanding. I am well prepared now. Today, I see my fellow journalists, especially women facing challenges like sexual abuse, sexual harassment, gender discrimination with their media houses, and cyberbullying on social media. I was telling some feminists recently that I do not get attacked on social media. And I do not know why because I say the same things as them. I became strong, and people know that if they attack me, they will fail.  I will continue, I will keep writing my views, I will not change. This is why they no longer attack me on social media like they attack other women. I am no longer facing cyberbullying on social media.

What impact did cyberbullying have on you?

It was hard at that time, I had to see three psychologists to get me out of this. It is something that I cannot wish for anyone today. There are women who get out of social media because of cyberbullying. Some of them are journalists. There are some women who fear writing their views on social media because of cyberbullying. There are some women journalists who leave their careers because of sexual harassment. I remember when I started this fight, against sexual harassment in the media, people were saying, “You exaggerate things, hugging is not sexual. Ass teasing is not sexual. You always exaggerate this. You are getting mad. You, feminists, are bad, very bad in society, you are destroying our society.” But later on, when they were signing the sexual harassment policy, I was celebrating in my heart. Now they understand that we need to fight against sexual harassment. We need to protect our journalists because I know that sexual harassment affects job performance, sexual harassment, it prevents women from getting ahead in their careers. They go to school, they study journalism, but when they graduate, they do not practice journalism because of issues of sexual harassment and gender discrimination.

In your opinion, how can the media play a more influential role in promoting gender justice and empowering marginalized voices?

Last week, we had a session with women in the news here in Rwanda, and we had a session about gender equality and gender equity. When they asked me a question about inclusion, I said there are various people out there that we need to empower and include in our plans, because we need to promote the power dynamic. They are LGBTQ, sex workers, and many people. I was naming them. Some women journalists said. “No. Peace, how are you coming with these people even this conversation”? I said we are talking about inclusion, we live in a diverse society, we live with these people, and they have power, they can contribute. I cannot discriminate against someone because of their choices because it is not my mission. My interest is to work with them to build society, not go into their private life. We can bring these people to the table and get the potential to achieve our goals. Our goal is to build a society, to build a community, we need to get together, work together, and have a powerful impact on society. I see that today we are fighting against gender stereotypes.

I also remember in those discussions when we were talking about the elections that are coming up in Rwanda, and women’s participation during the elections. One journalist said that women do not grant interviews. that women are shy. And I said, no, that is a gender stereotype. All women are not shy. You cannot say that all women do not give interviews. No, it is a lie. There are women who want to talk. What are the topics that we are talking with women? What is the interview? What are the questions that we are asking for women? We always consider women as weak people. We always consider them like they do not have something important to share. We only ask them questions when there is a case of GBV, when there is a case of prostitution, we describe them like objects.

If this woman is a survivor of GBV, sexual violence, or domestic violence, have a conversation with them before you record them. Listen to them. Then tell them why you need that interview before you record. They will respond to you. Do not consider just the vulnerable women, there are women who head the big companies. If you go there and request an interview, consider this woman like a strong woman. We do not give space to women who are strong in society, we only interview vulnerable women. We must consider all women in various categories that they are. So, gender stereotypes are one of the things that journalists should avoid. We should put more effort into inclusiveness because we need all people to have space in our media, and in our content. Discrimination should be avoided within our media houses. We also must be aware of human rights. All people are equal, and all should have freedom of expression and the right to information. We should avoid those gender stereotypes and discrimination of people because of who they are.

What advice would you give to young women who are coming into the industry, on a similar journey as you, what advice would you give them based on your experiences?

First of all, I can tell them that media is a good career, a very good career when you have that passion. If they think they can be journalists, I advise them to continue that dream but to have a passion. Most of the time, I tell them that if you are an expert in some domain and some sector within the media, you will be recognized based on what you’re doing. Most of the time, I see these young girls from school of journalism. Some of them, when I talk with them, they say, “I want to go in entertainment. I want to be talking on social issues”. And some want to be on TV. I tell them to specialize in things. If you are specialized in justice, know everything about justice, read the laws, know how the courts work, know every aspect of justice, and be known as a justice reporter. If you want to go on gender, please be aware of everything about gender, don’t mix things.

So, what next for you? Peace.

I dream of having a TV station. But not for me. Women can get together and establish a TV station, a big TV station which has different stations with different topics and radios. I have a dream to have a big media house like Standard Group in Kenya and I am working on it. I even started mobilizing women’s media organization members to think about this. It will be the first big media in Rwanda owned by women. That is my dream.

Wow! I am 100% behind you and I really look forward to seeing that dream realized. Thank you so much, peace for sharing your inspirational story I have really enjoyed listening to it and getting so much from you. Thank you so much.

Thank you for inviting me to this conversation.